Metta Meditation: Loving-Kindness for Peace

I have always been an optimist. I believe there is good in everyone and I seek to find it even in the most challenging of people. When I was young and read The Diary of Anne Frank, I was absolutely floored and intrigued with her famous quote “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart”. 

Recently the actions of another person negatively impacted my family and our future. It came out of nowhere and it turned my world upside down.  I found myself with a lot of negative feelings toward this person. Hate is not the word I would use (ok, maybe a little!) but definitely a very close emotional cousin. I was definitely angry, scared and frustrated; feelings that left me drained on multiple levels. I knew I needed an energetic shift.

Enter metta meditation. I have been meditating daily for the past year or so and it has changed my life dramatically. Usually I sit in stillness with a mantra but I knew I needed something more. Loving-kindness meditation works with a series of phrases that you say to yourself and then other people in your life, including what is known as the difficult person. I sent loving-kindness to this person. This person I was angry at, the one who had disrupted my charmed life and left me pissed and not feeling very yoga like.

The phrases of my practice were simple

May you be happy

May you be healthy

May you be free from suffering

May you live in peace

The practice starts with self, then a beloved person, a neutral person, the difficult person, a group of people and finally the whole world. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks each time I reached this difficult person. I did not want to hold anything against them, I just couldn’t bear it. I know that they acted out of fear and that they likely live in fear more often than not. I did not want to contribute to their difficult emotions with my own hate. The phrases were a gift, the tears a deep relief. And so I found myself sending these phrases out into the world from my humble heart not just in the morning but many times throughout the day. Each time, a little bit of my hardness softened, I opened up to the blessings of this experience, this lesson in love.

I can’t say that I am completely cured of any resentment since the actions of this person continue to reverberate out in my life. But, I feel more at peace and know that it is in everyone’s best interest that I not hold onto negative emotions. Life is funny and continues to give me plenty of other opportunities to practice. And so I find myself returning to these phrases that are my wish for this world.

May we all be happy. May we all be healthy. May we all be free from suffering. And may we all live in peace.

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Grounded & Fertile

My words for 2016 were Grounded & Fertile. I choose them ahead of time (or rather I think they choose me) and then I see how the year unfolds. I find this practice to be a wonderful way to reflect and set intention. Time is a funny thing and this post serves as a timepiece for my year and all that it has held. End of year rituals in any fashion are a sweet way to say goodbye to this year and usher in a new one.

Grounded

As a Capricorn, staying grounded is in my bones but at the same time I can find myself in the clouds if I’m not careful and conscious. Easily my biggest accomplishment in regards to this word this year was my meditation practice. I got consistent with it for the first time ever! It was a wonderful journey and I’m so grateful. I was excited to share with others as well but both my weekly meditation offering and meditation workshop were not well attended. With this particular “miss” my takeaway is that it was more about cultivating my own practice than sharing this year. In addition to getting more grounded in my meditation practice the Universe majorly tested my foundation when my husband left the very job that brought us to San Jose. It was not in our plans and it shook us both pretty hard. I know my practice was preparing me for that moment. Figuring out how to stay grounded when the earth beneath you becomes unsteady is the real practice. I got to practice that again with the results of the presidential election. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary this year and were reminded again and again about what it takes to be a team and how lucky we are to have each other. And we went camping for the first time in our relationship. We also explored some fun hiking spots getting grounded in nature. I taught the Reiki master level class for the first time and find that this practice as well as the students who show up are my constant reminder to stay grounded. My women’s circles continued to grow this year and I found the times I was leading those to be when I felt most grounded in my body and in my life purpose. I also took the seat of therapist once again which requires a great deal of grounding and presence.

Fertile

While it is by no means a secret, I also don’t share much about the fact that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for several years; longer than I ever imagined it would take. I hope to write more about it one day but for now it’s just too painful and I often find commentary from others (however well meaning) is rarely helpful. I really did think this would be the year and so it was not a coincidence that I chose this word for 2016. And while unfortunately this was not the year I would conceive a child, 2016 proved to be amazingly fertile with ideas, inspiration, experiences and projects. I started a podcast and recently got it on iTunes (hooray!) as well as created a separate website for Wildish Wise Women. I hosted packed women’s circles and invited friends to co-facilitate with me to share their gifts. I lead my first yoga retreat with some wonderful women. I shared much more of my yoga life on social media via a few Instagram challenges including one I co-hosted. Some articles I wrote were published online and I got to share my love of the chakra system in a monthly series at the prAna store in Palo Alto. The community that I continue to co-create in my new home is rich with wonderful people. My husband and I hosted a gathering in the Spring and we had our first annual Friendsgiving. In addition to teaching several Reiki classes of all levels, I also invited people to a Reiki share night on a couple of occasions. The healing energy that is created when people come together to raise the vibration is so ripe with possibility. I let my body be a canvas in my first ever body painting experience. I traveled to China and experienced not only a new culture but also a powerful healing practice. And I got 2 new jobs and was reminded of the fertility and flexibility of the career I chose.

Of course there was a lot of darkness to 2016; it was NOT an easy year! My grounding was tested many times and I know it’s not the last time. I plan to stay dedicated to my practices as much as possible and look forward to 2017. My words for the new year are Abundant and Held. Wishing you all that you hope for in 2017!

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My best 9 on Instagram – apparently naked photos get more likes 😉

Meditation 365

I did it! A year of meditating every day.

I woke up this morning so so excited…like a kid going to Disneyland. I got my butt to my meditation cushion and felt an immense amount of gratitude. I have showed up for myself again and again and it has made a huge impact.

It hasn’t always been easy or ideal but each day I made a commitment to cultivating more peace and to making time for stillness. It’s the greatest gift I have given myself.

And I find that when life feels rough, meditation is the first thing I want to do now. Not to bypass the emotion but to let it wash over me so it can slowly dissipate. Elena Brower, my teacher and inspiration in all of this, says it’s like inviting the house cleaner over each morning. Meditation sweeps out the dirt life throws at us leaving our hearts polished.

My absolute hope is to keep up this practice but I also know that gentleness and forgiveness is part of this journey. 365 days of devotion to self-love and self-care is a foundation that I know will continue to serve me. Adding in a second afternoon/evening meditation and creating more space for the physical practice are my hopes for the future.

Breath. Softness. Opening to Love. Commitment. Practice. Stillness.

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