I have always been an optimist. I believe there is good in everyone and I seek to find it even in the most challenging of people. When I was young and read The Diary of Anne Frank, I was absolutely floored and intrigued with her famous quote “In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart”.
Recently the actions of another person negatively impacted my family and our future. It came out of nowhere and it turned my world upside down. I found myself with a lot of negative feelings toward this person. Hate is not the word I would use (ok, maybe a little!) but definitely a very close emotional cousin. I was definitely angry, scared and frustrated; feelings that left me drained on multiple levels. I knew I needed an energetic shift.
Enter metta meditation. I have been meditating daily for the past year or so and it has changed my life dramatically. Usually I sit in stillness with a mantra but I knew I needed something more. Loving-kindness meditation works with a series of phrases that you say to yourself and then other people in your life, including what is known as the difficult person. I sent loving-kindness to this person. This person I was angry at, the one who had disrupted my charmed life and left me pissed and not feeling very yoga like.
The phrases of my practice were simple
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be free from suffering
May you live in peace
The practice starts with self, then a beloved person, a neutral person, the difficult person, a group of people and finally the whole world. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks each time I reached this difficult person. I did not want to hold anything against them, I just couldn’t bear it. I know that they acted out of fear and that they likely live in fear more often than not. I did not want to contribute to their difficult emotions with my own hate. The phrases were a gift, the tears a deep relief. And so I found myself sending these phrases out into the world from my humble heart not just in the morning but many times throughout the day. Each time, a little bit of my hardness softened, I opened up to the blessings of this experience, this lesson in love.
I can’t say that I am completely cured of any resentment since the actions of this person continue to reverberate out in my life. But, I feel more at peace and know that it is in everyone’s best interest that I not hold onto negative emotions. Life is funny and continues to give me plenty of other opportunities to practice. And so I find myself returning to these phrases that are my wish for this world.
May we all be happy. May we all be healthy. May we all be free from suffering. And may we all live in peace.
