End of Life Lessons

I work in Hospice now. The subject of death, dying and grief is a new but regular experience for me. If you had told me 10 years ago, at the very beginning of my career, that I would be doing this work, I would not have believed you. It was last on my list, just under working with older adults with mental illness which ended up being my first job out of school.

It was too difficult, too sad, and how could I ever be able to sit with someone in the most difficult time and still be effective. It took 10 years, but my perspective shifted and so when the time came for me to get a new job in San Diego I applied for the Hospice position.

At four months into this new area of social work I can honestly say that I like it quite a bit. I love to be a student of new things and I am certainly learning a lot. But way more than the knowledge of what to expect in the last stage of life, I am moved by the people, the stories, the connection.

And really in the end, the people is why I became a social worker in the first place. We are all humans having different experiences in our time here on Earth and deep connection is what brings us together. I love that I get to be with people when things are hard. But interestingly, for some the end is not as difficult as you might think. Their last stage of the life journey is welcome and peaceful. I get a peek into that sacred part of people’s lives and just as watching life come into this world, watching one go is an honor.

What I am learning is not really any different than what I already know to be true. Life is what you make of it and even in the end things can be joyful, humorous, lighthearted and full of love. It’s not to say that there isn’t sadness, anger, grief and despair; that’s there too. But, just like life, death brings a mixed bag of emotions and experiences. It’s not just one thing but many and the sum of those parts make for a beautiful and for me spiritual experience.