Category Archives: Therapist

Yoga for Trauma

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I am a therapist and a yoga teacher and it’s very interesting to watch my two worlds come together. We are discovering that it’s hard to talk about yoga without including some aspects of psychology and the mind. It’s also exceedingly difficult to heal trauma without involving the body.

Next month I will lead my second 6 week series on Yoga for Trauma Healing. The interest has been high and the course is sold out. I am in the process of finding out a way to offer this on a regular basis to meet the needs of the community and because I believe in this work. I am also exploring how to make this more accessible for all who are interested in doing this healing work.

You may be hearing a lot of talk about trauma both in the media and in the wellness community. It’s sort of a hot button topic right now and there are good reasons for this.

Researchers are gathering more and more information about how our brain and body remembers, stores and processes traumatic incidents. The saying “the issues are in our tissues” is a quick way to illustrate what we are finding; the body never forgets. So it makes sense that the body oriented interventions are being proven most effective at targeting trauma.

As far as I am concerned, no one who is having a human experience will ever escape trauma. The definition is far more broad than most of us think and this means that we all have some level of trauma that we can work to heal.

I am grateful I get to hold space for individuals working to heal trauma both in this group series and in the individual work that I do with people. But, this also means that I have to be aware of my own traumas.

When I say all humans have some level of trauma, this certainly applies to practitioners supporting people to heal trauma too. Some of us have even more work to do so that we can be grounded enough to show up for others.

Another piece of the trauma puzzle that cannot be ignored is that of race and other social justice issues. As a white woman I have work to do in not only acknowledging my own privilege but also in recognizing all the ways trauma can present itself due to inequalities in our society.

I’m thankful to see the amount of discussion that is being generated around trauma but this also means we have to meet it with just as much if not more discernment. Listen to your own intuition about exploring this with a practitioner. Trauma work is sensitive work and should be approached with the utmost care.

In the Void Again

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10 years

10 years since I finished grad school

Gains and losses have passed the time

More grays, more wisdom, more softness

In the liminal space between opportunities

Discomfort paired with gratitude

All is unfolding perfectly

Trust the process

Find small joys

10 years

Soul Work & Sacred Secrets

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People tell me their secrets. And I’m not talking about in a hushed tone or drunken state, although that has happened too. I’m talking about the fact that I get paid to have people tell me what they haven’t told anyone else before. It’s weird really and sometimes I have to remind myself that this is the path I chose. It is not a coincidence that I hold the seat of the therapist. It was all by design and I try not to take it for granted.

Just so I am clear here, I don’t think secrets are all that helpful. The weight of carrying around something that needs to be said but never has been is heavy. But, life is complicated and there are many messages from parents, partners and most of all society that tell us to keep things to ourselves. Also, sometimes it’s not safe to share secrets or people do share and they are not believed. This needs to change and luckily a movement to do just that is rapidly building momentum. Look at the power that all the women (and men) coming forward with their secrets is creating. It’s amazing and it’s time.

But back to the secrets I get to hold. It struck me the other day when I heard for the hundredth or so time, “I have never told anyone this.” I always tell my clients and try to remember this myself: any work that you do on yourself whether within the walls of a therapist’s office, a yoga studio, out in Mother Nature or with your nose buried in a self help book is SACRED. It is the greatest work of the soul to say out loud what needs to be said, look at old patterns that aren’t working anymore, teach your body what it means to feel safe, and learn to love yourself along the way. Sharing these secrets is part of this process. The hope is that telling me is the catalyst for the rest of the process to emerge.

In hearing these secrets I am exposed to some of the most fucked up shit (that is indeed the clinical term for some of the bullshit human behavior I have encountered). I am talking abuse, violence, and neglect sometimes on a staggering scale. There is also the response to these things that starts out as adaptive and quickly moves into unhealthy. The addiction, self hatred, failed relationships, anger, deep pain and loss of self.

But for all the secrets and pain, I also get to witness the reclaiming of power, sense of purpose and magic that happens when the secrets are out and the healing can begin. It’s a precious place to be in the world: holding someone’s pain while seeing the light at the end of the tunnel before they ever can.

And I’m certainly not saying I have all the answers and that coming to therapy is like sliding down a rainbow on a unicorn. It can be rough and tumble and we all have human moments which means sometimes I say the wrong thing. But there is always room for repair and if I can show respect, understanding and leave judgement at the door we are good. For the most part I can do that and I feel super lucky to be on this path with so many others. Sometimes all we need is a witness and a cheerleader.

These people, the one who tell me their secrets. While I can never tell you who they actually are, they are the people we interact with on a regular basis. The people we work with and see in the grocery store and laugh with and play with. Rarely do the people in their immediate vicinity know the depth of their pain. Which means this is all of us. We are all working through the muck that is life while trying to remember and notice the beauty.

It’s also important to mention that the “fucked up shit” I have heard about was often an expression of pain. The wounded wound others and the cycle continues until someone can name it and break it. None of it is ok but it’s a helpful stance when the eventual work is forgiveness. Not for them but for us. Because as MLK Jr. so eloquently stated “I have decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear.”

I’m not sure what the conclusion of all of this is. It’s not meant to be an advertisement for therapy although as a therapist of course I would advocate seeking support if needed. More than anything I think it’s about the human condition and that we are all going through something. There are days when the last thing I want to do is hold someone else’s pain while I am feeling mine so deeply. But in that reality is the comfort that while I am witnessing my client I can also be holding myself in the process. And that is why I know everything is as it should be and I am right where I need to be.

Abundant & Held

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For the past 5 years or so I have chosen two words to represent my year. I actually do it intuitively, so I feel it’s safe to say the words choose me. A few weeks before the year they sort of just land somewhere in my consciousness (usually early in the morning, while I’m in the shower or some other quiet moment) And then I just get to wait and see how they unfold. I keep the words near me, in my car, on my altar, or in my phone so I see them often. Here’s how 2017 went down.

Abundant

Having enough and often more than enough was a theme this year. I started the year with an abundance of jobs. While it was helpful to our family and I was grateful for this, not all of them served me. It’s always a nice feeling to have enough of everything which I know is far from true for so many people. My husband and I and some friends of ours participated in the women’s march which was an amazing experience. It definitely included an abundance of people (across the world!) showing up for all the right reasons. When a nation elects a man who has so little respect for women and many other groups of people, it’s nice to see that we can fight back with our numbers and our passion. A huge accomplishment and act of abundance that occurred this year was that we paid off my husband’s student loans. This was a debt that was constantly nagging at him (those of you with school debt, or any debt for that matter can probably relate) and he often felt like he would be paying them off forever. It was an act of abundance to pay them and continues to give us abundance in other areas. To me a life well lived includes traveling but I know that this requires an abundance of resources. Many years back my then boyfriend and I opened a bank account specifically for travel and it has served us well over the years. This year brought a trip to Thailand to check in with my husband’s Chinese teachers, some local trips near the Bay Area, back to San Diego to see family, Texas for a family wedding, and a summer trip with my mom (I LOVE our weekend getaways). I am also so grateful to have access to an abundance of amazing trainings and the ability to take part in them. This year, I took a three day training in Somatic Experiencing and Yoga which landed right in my soul and represented the work I do exactly. I finally got to take the 5 day leadership training with Off the Mat, Into the World, which has been on my list for some time and was able to make time for countless other local trainings (mostly yoga related). I am a hungry student always seeking knowledge and I am so lucky to be living in a time and place in the world where I can access information so readily. I also led full and sold out trainings, workshops, circles and retreats and got to join the Conscious San Jose movement through free summer meditations and teaching at the first annual yoga and music festival all of which were a great joy. To me living with the concept of abundance means that we truly trust that there is enough to go around for all. I try to practice this by not grasping at what is not mine be it students, income, jobs or opportunities. If it is meant for me, it won’t pass me by.

Held

Admittedly this is a sort of funny word to choose but as I am unpacking it, I realize how perfect it is because it holds so many meanings. To have or keep, to reserve or retain, to bear, sustain or support, to keep in a specified state, to engage in, to detain and to keep from action. To me it also feels like a hug, a softness and a warmth and maybe a kick in the butt sometimes too. I have experienced many different versions of this in 2017. I have been held in so many community spaces this year. My women’s circles and podcast community, the yoga studio and the group practice where I work and all the beautiful people I met and connected with in my teachings and trainings. I feel so nourished and held by some amazing and supportive hands and hearts. I felt so held in my practices this year. I actually spent less time sitting and more time moving which was lovely. I spent a lot of time with my favorite teacher Elena Brower on YogaGlo and in her Elevate Mentorship. The two years prior I was fortunate enough to spend time with her in person but the online community for which I am plugged into has been very nourishing and has lovingly encouraged me to hold the seat of an artist. I held another new role as clinical supervisor in my work and that was an extremely fruitful experience for me personally and professionally. We also celebrated by being held in a sweat lodge ceremony after my supervisee passed her licensing test. That was an exercise in facing the fear of claustrophobia and the unknown (spoiler: I didn’t make it the whole time but I’m so proud for doing it!). And sometimes to be held is to be held accountable and I found that this year as well. My husband had to sit me down and inform me that I was not walking my walk when it came to being kind and loving towards all. I was getting wrapped up in the hatred for our elected officials (one in particular) and finding comfort in unkind words and comedy at the expense of others. That was a harsh truth and I cried hot tears of acknowledgement and then made an effort to unfollow some pages (sorry Trevor Noah) and watch my language carefully. My husband and I had to hold ourselves accountable when we did not speak up against hatred towards another group. This was a huge lesson and one that did not go unnoticed by us. I furthered this self inquiry in my training with Off the Mat, Into the World where I sat for 5 days being held by the reality that I have more privilege than most. It had me asking how will I be more engaged and of service. It is my job, at least in part, to hold a little more weight in this world simply because I can. I have been held in so much joy and just as much sadness. I found unbridled joy in the embodied practices of singing and dancing, lunches with my husband, travel, nature and time with friends and family. I continue to be held in the sadness of waiting to grow our family, the state of our world and the unimaginable suffering people are enduring daily. I was held in the limbo of anesthesia for a small surgery (so trippy to my adult self since age 5 was my one and only time being under), and held by those things that were not meant for me this year. Through all of it I tried to hold onto hope that even when it seems dire or when nothing makes sense, we are all held by each other and the fact that we are separate but intricately connected. And that ultimately, we are all held by the Great Mother herself.

2017 was far from perfect but I take great honor in not only living this life but also taking the time to acknowledge the journey, the path and the lessons.

It’s funny because I usually don’t waver when my words come to me but this year I am struggling. A few weeks back Clarity and Transformation came through so I wrote them down and then a day or so after that I wrote (Nourishment?) next to it. This morning I drew the butterfly card so I know Transformation is where it’s at but do I want a crystal clear path or do I want to feel cozy and supported along the way? I’ll have to sit with that but I think I know the answer. May your 2018 bring all that you hope for and more. It’s the year of the Dog which I recently learned is me…I always thought I belonged to the year of the boar but because I’m a January baby, I fit in the cycle before my birth year.

My best nine from Instagram @jesalyneatchel

My best nine from Instagram @wildishwisewomen

Grounded & Fertile

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My words for 2016 were Grounded & Fertile. I choose them ahead of time (or rather I think they choose me) and then I see how the year unfolds. I find this practice to be a wonderful way to reflect and set intention. Time is a funny thing and this post serves as a timepiece for my year and all that it has held. End of year rituals in any fashion are a sweet way to say goodbye to this year and usher in a new one.

Grounded

As a Capricorn, staying grounded is in my bones but at the same time I can find myself in the clouds if I’m not careful and conscious. Easily my biggest accomplishment in regards to this word this year was my meditation practice. I got consistent with it for the first time ever! It was a wonderful journey and I’m so grateful. I was excited to share with others as well but both my weekly meditation offering and meditation workshop were not well attended. With this particular “miss” my takeaway is that it was more about cultivating my own practice than sharing this year. In addition to getting more grounded in my meditation practice the Universe majorly tested my foundation when my husband left the very job that brought us to San Jose. It was not in our plans and it shook us both pretty hard. I know my practice was preparing me for that moment. Figuring out how to stay grounded when the earth beneath you becomes unsteady is the real practice. I got to practice that again with the results of the presidential election. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary this year and were reminded again and again about what it takes to be a team and how lucky we are to have each other. And we went camping for the first time in our relationship. We also explored some fun hiking spots getting grounded in nature. I taught the Reiki master level class for the first time and find that this practice as well as the students who show up are my constant reminder to stay grounded. My women’s circles continued to grow this year and I found the times I was leading those to be when I felt most grounded in my body and in my life purpose. I also took the seat of therapist once again which requires a great deal of grounding and presence.

Fertile

While it is by no means a secret, I also don’t share much about the fact that my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for several years; longer than I ever imagined it would take. I hope to write more about it one day but for now it’s just too painful and I often find commentary from others (however well meaning) is rarely helpful. I really did think this would be the year and so it was not a coincidence that I chose this word for 2016. And while unfortunately this was not the year I would conceive a child, 2016 proved to be amazingly fertile with ideas, inspiration, experiences and projects. I started a podcast and recently got it on iTunes (hooray!) as well as created a separate website for Wildish Wise Women. I hosted packed women’s circles and invited friends to co-facilitate with me to share their gifts. I lead my first yoga retreat with some wonderful women. I shared much more of my yoga life on social media via a few Instagram challenges including one I co-hosted. Some articles I wrote were published online and I got to share my love of the chakra system in a monthly series at the prAna store in Palo Alto. The community that I continue to co-create in my new home is rich with wonderful people. My husband and I hosted a gathering in the Spring and we had our first annual Friendsgiving. In addition to teaching several Reiki classes of all levels, I also invited people to a Reiki share night on a couple of occasions. The healing energy that is created when people come together to raise the vibration is so ripe with possibility. I let my body be a canvas in my first ever body painting experience. I traveled to China and experienced not only a new culture but also a powerful healing practice. And I got 2 new jobs and was reminded of the fertility and flexibility of the career I chose.

Of course there was a lot of darkness to 2016; it was NOT an easy year! My grounding was tested many times and I know it’s not the last time. I plan to stay dedicated to my practices as much as possible and look forward to 2017. My words for the new year are Abundant and Held. Wishing you all that you hope for in 2017!

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My best 9 on Instagram – apparently naked photos get more likes 😉

Hired!

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I’ve always said as a social worker that I will be able to find a job no matter the economy or location. It may not be the best paying or most desirable but there will always be work. With that said, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started a job search last month. Mental health care is always needed in many different ways but maybe it wouldn’t be so easy.

Luckily, not only did I get a job that almost perfectly fits my needs but I also got offers on a few other jobs that were not so perfect. I actually turned down a position and declined an interview for another one. That’s a first for me.

I’m happy to report that I am joining a local private practice Bay Area Mental Health that offers individual and group therapy with a focus on healing trauma. I started seeing clients this week.

I feel compelled to share this news for two reasons.

One because I quite emphatically said I didn’t expect I would go back into therapy. But after some soul searching and reflection I decided it’s my path to help people in this way. I have the skills and I value this work. It is sacred work. And one of my goals in this life is to find sacred spaces and sacred moments as often as possible. It is an honor to support people in embracing their best life.

And two because I am humbled and grateful to be in this position. I haven’t been working much and I really haven’t had to. I know this is a very unique situation to be in. I have definitely had to take the first job offered to me in the past and to be able to be choosy this time around is a huge gift.

I don’t know what the future holds but for now I am happy to be of service and to be back doing this work. It is an honor to sit in front of someone who is willing to share their life, including their pain and their joy, with you.

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