Category Archives: Divine Timing

Taking a Breiki

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My sisters were my first ever Reiki 1 class back in 2012. I have been teaching regularly since then and love sharing this healing modality. It gives me a lot of joy to play a small role in people embracing their inner healer. I also always learn from my students and feel a deep connection to myself and the energy each time I teach.

I’ve been resisting the call to take a break from teaching for some time. Why would spirit guide me to take a break from something I love? It’s easy to ask questions, but maybe we aren’t always meant to have answers. Trust is often all we have to go on when everything seems uncertain.

I believe intuition starts as a whisper and gets louder until you wake up to what’s being asked of you. So, I have finally decided to listen before the divine is forced to scream at me.

2019 is my year to scale back my classes entirely aside from the January Reiki master class I had agreed long ago to teach. It was lovely and bittersweet to have some wonderful souls share in my last class for awhile.

My break will include more weekends home to work on our house, the opportunity to learn other healing modalities (I am embarking on more yoga therapy this year), time for self-healing and self-reflection, and some things I probably couldn’t plan for even if I tried.

Reiki will still be a part of my life because it has been so intertwined these past years in everything that I do. I still offer individual sessions and incorporate it in many of my offerings. But the seat of the teacher is on the back burner for now. And I am at peace with it.

I don’t know what this year off will bring or what the plan for 2020 will be but if I had to guess I would say it will turn out perfectly and exactly according to plan.

Reiki master Jan 2019. Photo by Olivia Chapman Goss

Attunements (and funny faces) among the redwood trees. Photo by Olivia Chapman Goss

In the Void Again

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10 years

10 years since I finished grad school

Gains and losses have passed the time

More grays, more wisdom, more softness

In the liminal space between opportunities

Discomfort paired with gratitude

All is unfolding perfectly

Trust the process

Find small joys

10 years

Abundant & Held

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For the past 5 years or so I have chosen two words to represent my year. I actually do it intuitively, so I feel it’s safe to say the words choose me. A few weeks before the year they sort of just land somewhere in my consciousness (usually early in the morning, while I’m in the shower or some other quiet moment) And then I just get to wait and see how they unfold. I keep the words near me, in my car, on my altar, or in my phone so I see them often. Here’s how 2017 went down.

Abundant

Having enough and often more than enough was a theme this year. I started the year with an abundance of jobs. While it was helpful to our family and I was grateful for this, not all of them served me. It’s always a nice feeling to have enough of everything which I know is far from true for so many people. My husband and I and some friends of ours participated in the women’s march which was an amazing experience. It definitely included an abundance of people (across the world!) showing up for all the right reasons. When a nation elects a man who has so little respect for women and many other groups of people, it’s nice to see that we can fight back with our numbers and our passion. A huge accomplishment and act of abundance that occurred this year was that we paid off my husband’s student loans. This was a debt that was constantly nagging at him (those of you with school debt, or any debt for that matter can probably relate) and he often felt like he would be paying them off forever. It was an act of abundance to pay them and continues to give us abundance in other areas. To me a life well lived includes traveling but I know that this requires an abundance of resources. Many years back my then boyfriend and I opened a bank account specifically for travel and it has served us well over the years. This year brought a trip to Thailand to check in with my husband’s Chinese teachers, some local trips near the Bay Area, back to San Diego to see family, Texas for a family wedding, and a summer trip with my mom (I LOVE our weekend getaways). I am also so grateful to have access to an abundance of amazing trainings and the ability to take part in them. This year, I took a three day training in Somatic Experiencing and Yoga which landed right in my soul and represented the work I do exactly. I finally got to take the 5 day leadership training with Off the Mat, Into the World, which has been on my list for some time and was able to make time for countless other local trainings (mostly yoga related). I am a hungry student always seeking knowledge and I am so lucky to be living in a time and place in the world where I can access information so readily. I also led full and sold out trainings, workshops, circles and retreats and got to join the Conscious San Jose movement through free summer meditations and teaching at the first annual yoga and music festival all of which were a great joy. To me living with the concept of abundance means that we truly trust that there is enough to go around for all. I try to practice this by not grasping at what is not mine be it students, income, jobs or opportunities. If it is meant for me, it won’t pass me by.

Held

Admittedly this is a sort of funny word to choose but as I am unpacking it, I realize how perfect it is because it holds so many meanings. To have or keep, to reserve or retain, to bear, sustain or support, to keep in a specified state, to engage in, to detain and to keep from action. To me it also feels like a hug, a softness and a warmth and maybe a kick in the butt sometimes too. I have experienced many different versions of this in 2017. I have been held in so many community spaces this year. My women’s circles and podcast community, the yoga studio and the group practice where I work and all the beautiful people I met and connected with in my teachings and trainings. I feel so nourished and held by some amazing and supportive hands and hearts. I felt so held in my practices this year. I actually spent less time sitting and more time moving which was lovely. I spent a lot of time with my favorite teacher Elena Brower on YogaGlo and in her Elevate Mentorship. The two years prior I was fortunate enough to spend time with her in person but the online community for which I am plugged into has been very nourishing and has lovingly encouraged me to hold the seat of an artist. I held another new role as clinical supervisor in my work and that was an extremely fruitful experience for me personally and professionally. We also celebrated by being held in a sweat lodge ceremony after my supervisee passed her licensing test. That was an exercise in facing the fear of claustrophobia and the unknown (spoiler: I didn’t make it the whole time but I’m so proud for doing it!). And sometimes to be held is to be held accountable and I found that this year as well. My husband had to sit me down and inform me that I was not walking my walk when it came to being kind and loving towards all. I was getting wrapped up in the hatred for our elected officials (one in particular) and finding comfort in unkind words and comedy at the expense of others. That was a harsh truth and I cried hot tears of acknowledgement and then made an effort to unfollow some pages (sorry Trevor Noah) and watch my language carefully. My husband and I had to hold ourselves accountable when we did not speak up against hatred towards another group. This was a huge lesson and one that did not go unnoticed by us. I furthered this self inquiry in my training with Off the Mat, Into the World where I sat for 5 days being held by the reality that I have more privilege than most. It had me asking how will I be more engaged and of service. It is my job, at least in part, to hold a little more weight in this world simply because I can. I have been held in so much joy and just as much sadness. I found unbridled joy in the embodied practices of singing and dancing, lunches with my husband, travel, nature and time with friends and family. I continue to be held in the sadness of waiting to grow our family, the state of our world and the unimaginable suffering people are enduring daily. I was held in the limbo of anesthesia for a small surgery (so trippy to my adult self since age 5 was my one and only time being under), and held by those things that were not meant for me this year. Through all of it I tried to hold onto hope that even when it seems dire or when nothing makes sense, we are all held by each other and the fact that we are separate but intricately connected. And that ultimately, we are all held by the Great Mother herself.

2017 was far from perfect but I take great honor in not only living this life but also taking the time to acknowledge the journey, the path and the lessons.

It’s funny because I usually don’t waver when my words come to me but this year I am struggling. A few weeks back Clarity and Transformation came through so I wrote them down and then a day or so after that I wrote (Nourishment?) next to it. This morning I drew the butterfly card so I know Transformation is where it’s at but do I want a crystal clear path or do I want to feel cozy and supported along the way? I’ll have to sit with that but I think I know the answer. May your 2018 bring all that you hope for and more. It’s the year of the Dog which I recently learned is me…I always thought I belonged to the year of the boar but because I’m a January baby, I fit in the cycle before my birth year.

My best nine from Instagram @jesalyneatchel

My best nine from Instagram @wildishwisewomen

Memories of May

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The month of May brought with it several anniversaries and some bittersweet memories. Four years ago this month I became a Reiki master and eight years ago I completed my masters degree and added MSW after my name.

I celebrated my Reiki master anniversary by teaching a level 2 class to some lovely healers. There aren’t enough words to describe how much it means to me to share this technique with others and it was a perfect way to commemorate this milestone. Reiki has brought so much love, healing and connection into my life. I am proud to have a growing group of students who are doing great work in the world.

In reflecting on my social work career, I find myself missing my college days (because really who doesn’t?!) but also my clients and the relationship I had with them.

At my first internship I was afraid to hang out with the clients in the milieu. What would I say to them? I also remember being totally baffled when someone said they forgot a client’s name and then laughing to myself when it was me forgetting. Yes, we establish close relationships with these people but we are human. And honestly some clients are more memorable than others.

It’s an honor to do this work though and it has been filled with moments of tenderness. I have sat and cried with a client who just lost her father. Another whose dog died suddenly. I have kept small keepsakes made or given to me by clients, I still wonder how many of them are doing and I remember the birthday of a client who died each year.

Professional boundaries keep us from being able to stay in touch, but it doesn’t mean we don’t remember the connections we have made which often happen in a persons most vulnerable times in life. We sometimes spend more time with our clients than we do with our own family and close friends.

I’ve been out of the social work game for some time now and I don’t know if I’ll go back. But I do miss the deep connections I made and that I got to be there for so many people when they needed support and comfort. I can only hope maybe they think of me from time to time too. And not even me per se, but something I shared with them or the feeling they had of being accepted and understood.

The Myth of Mastery

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This past weekend I had the pleasure of teaching my first Reiki Master class. I’ve been teaching Levels 1 & 2 since 2012 and I have come across so many wonderful souls on this journey. It is one of my greatest joys in life to share this healing technique with those who are interested. When I was young I wanted to be a teacher, mostly because I loved learning and I admired my teachers. And while my original intent was to be a school teacher, this role of teaching has morphed into many different things, one of them being sharing and teaching Reiki.

I knew in my heart I wanted to teach the master level at some point but I never felt enough mastery to justify it. As with most of the things I have interest in, I feel I could go a lifetime and not understand it all. Lucky for me the universe sent me all the right signs that I was in fact ready and to get my butt in gear. And so it was that I had the most beautiful weekend with 5 other healers on the path.

The thing I struggled with the most, was that because Reiki has been passed down over the years, there are variations on the teachings. I wanted to share the most authentic, closest to source information available but damned if I could figure out what that was. Usui (the founder of this kind of Reiki) lived long ago and there are not many people who truly know what he was offering. Especially since it is widely known that Takata, the women responsible for bringing it to the West, took liberties of her own. I agonized over what was right and what was wrong and second guessed a lot of it as I prepared for the training. After meditating, chatting with my Master and asking for guidance the message was clear “Teach what you learned, keep your intentions pure and your heart and mind open.” And the much needed reminder that this path of being a Master is not about knowing it all but about showing up to the practice and being dedicated to ongoing learning.

Did I know absolutely everything I needed to know? Not really. Did I have the most authentic version of the teachings? No one will ever know. Did I show up fully and share with my whole heart? Absolutely. And did my students learn something new that they can now share with others? You’re damn right they did!

The weekend was more than just about the Reiki Master teachings. It was about embracing ourselves just as we are, taking such good care of ourselves on a regular basis and answering the call to share as much love and healing with others as we can muster. That is true dedication to mastery.  And as the Dalai Lama says,

“The planet does not need more ‘successful people.’ The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds”

Reiki master class photo