For The FUN Of It!

When was the last time you did something just for fun? No agenda, not checking something off your to-do list or any ulterior motive. Fun just for the fun of it.

I don’t do this nearly enough and I am guessing it’s true for you too. Kids and animals are great at reminding us of the importance of play! But even when we take cues from them, adult responsibilities are always looming. It’s easy to get caught up in things we have to do or things we should do, but what if we made play a priority?

Psychologists have started studying the impact of adult play in the last few years and it’s no surprise they are finding it is hugely beneficial. But, it’s something you have to make time for just like you carve out time to exercise or meditate or have a night out with your friends.

I have been feeling bogged down by a lot of things lately and the heaviness shows up in my body. So I’ve decided to make a commitment to doing things for fun each day next month. I am painfully aware of the lack of music in my life and want that, along with dancing to be a large part of my fun. I am open to other explorations of play and have enlisted my husband’s help; he happens to be a very playful person.

I’m not disillusioned about the fact that playing each day won’t solve all of my (and the world’s) problems. But, if it lifts just a bit of the weight that I have been feeling, a weight that leaves me feeling quite restless by the end of the day…I’ll take it!

Who wants to join me? And what will be your first playful action?

photo by Darci Fontenot

Haiku Very Much

I’ve made it a new normal to make time for creativity. Painting, writing, drawing, dancing. It’s still a struggle since it is a new reality for me but it’s imperative. I can no longer hide behind the guise of not being a creative person. I tried and it doesn’t work. A beautiful byproduct of being human is that we are all creative. Let me say that again for those of you hiding like I was: WE ARE ALL CREATIVE! And I have to create to keep the channel open. It doesn’t have to be good but I still have to create to keep the juices flowing. The pool of creativity is endless but you have to jump in and get wet. Putting paint on paper has been a huge healer for me as has writing haikus. It’s one of the easiest things to create on the fly and it’s quite fun. 3 lines, 5, 7 & 5 syllables, endless opportunities. Here are a few of mine.

Change is coming soon.
Full moon magic gently calls.
Peace through transition

*

Waiting, wishing, hope.
Believe. All is provided.
Trust the Universe.

*

My evolution
creates transformation. Breathe.
Ride the waves of life.

*

No one got the rules
of how to be an adult.
We are all fumbling.

Be patient. Forgive
Yourself and others. Choose love.
Time waits for no one.

*

Abundant & Held

For the past 5 years or so I have chosen two words to represent my year. I actually do it intuitively, so I feel it’s safe to say the words choose me. A few weeks before the year they sort of just land somewhere in my consciousness (usually early in the morning, while I’m in the shower or some other quiet moment) And then I just get to wait and see how they unfold. I keep the words near me, in my car, on my altar, or in my phone so I see them often. Here’s how 2017 went down.

Abundant

Having enough and often more than enough was a theme this year. I started the year with an abundance of jobs. While it was helpful to our family and I was grateful for this, not all of them served me. It’s always a nice feeling to have enough of everything which I know is far from true for so many people. My husband and I and some friends of ours participated in the women’s march which was an amazing experience. It definitely included an abundance of people (across the world!) showing up for all the right reasons. When a nation elects a man who has so little respect for women and many other groups of people, it’s nice to see that we can fight back with our numbers and our passion. A huge accomplishment and act of abundance that occurred this year was that we paid off my husband’s student loans. This was a debt that was constantly nagging at him (those of you with school debt, or any debt for that matter can probably relate) and he often felt like he would be paying them off forever. It was an act of abundance to pay them and continues to give us abundance in other areas. To me a life well lived includes traveling but I know that this requires an abundance of resources. Many years back my then boyfriend and I opened a bank account specifically for travel and it has served us well over the years. This year brought a trip to Thailand to check in with my husband’s Chinese teachers, some local trips near the Bay Area, back to San Diego to see family, Texas for a family wedding, and a summer trip with my mom (I LOVE our weekend getaways). I am also so grateful to have access to an abundance of amazing trainings and the ability to take part in them. This year, I took a three day training in Somatic Experiencing and Yoga which landed right in my soul and represented the work I do exactly. I finally got to take the 5 day leadership training with Off the Mat, Into the World, which has been on my list for some time and was able to make time for countless other local trainings (mostly yoga related). I am a hungry student always seeking knowledge and I am so lucky to be living in a time and place in the world where I can access information so readily. I also led full and sold out trainings, workshops, circles and retreats and got to join the Conscious San Jose movement through free summer meditations and teaching at the first annual yoga and music festival all of which were a great joy. To me living with the concept of abundance means that we truly trust that there is enough to go around for all. I try to practice this by not grasping at what is not mine be it students, income, jobs or opportunities. If it is meant for me, it won’t pass me by.

Held

Admittedly this is a sort of funny word to choose but as I am unpacking it, I realize how perfect it is because it holds so many meanings. To have or keep, to reserve or retain, to bear, sustain or support, to keep in a specified state, to engage in, to detain and to keep from action. To me it also feels like a hug, a softness and a warmth and maybe a kick in the butt sometimes too. I have experienced many different versions of this in 2017. I have been held in so many community spaces this year. My women’s circles and podcast community, the yoga studio and the group practice where I work and all the beautiful people I met and connected with in my teachings and trainings. I feel so nourished and held by some amazing and supportive hands and hearts. I felt so held in my practices this year. I actually spent less time sitting and more time moving which was lovely. I spent a lot of time with my favorite teacher Elena Brower on YogaGlo and in her Elevate Mentorship. The two years prior I was fortunate enough to spend time with her in person but the online community for which I am plugged into has been very nourishing and has lovingly encouraged me to hold the seat of an artist. I held another new role as clinical supervisor in my work and that was an extremely fruitful experience for me personally and professionally. We also celebrated by being held in a sweat lodge ceremony after my supervisee passed her licensing test. That was an exercise in facing the fear of claustrophobia and the unknown (spoiler: I didn’t make it the whole time but I’m so proud for doing it!). And sometimes to be held is to be held accountable and I found that this year as well. My husband had to sit me down and inform me that I was not walking my walk when it came to being kind and loving towards all. I was getting wrapped up in the hatred for our elected officials (one in particular) and finding comfort in unkind words and comedy at the expense of others. That was a harsh truth and I cried hot tears of acknowledgement and then made an effort to unfollow some pages (sorry Trevor Noah) and watch my language carefully. My husband and I had to hold ourselves accountable when we did not speak up against hatred towards another group. This was a huge lesson and one that did not go unnoticed by us. I furthered this self inquiry in my training with Off the Mat, Into the World where I sat for 5 days being held by the reality that I have more privilege than most. It had me asking how will I be more engaged and of service. It is my job, at least in part, to hold a little more weight in this world simply because I can. I have been held in so much joy and just as much sadness. I found unbridled joy in the embodied practices of singing and dancing, lunches with my husband, travel, nature and time with friends and family. I continue to be held in the sadness of waiting to grow our family, the state of our world and the unimaginable suffering people are enduring daily. I was held in the limbo of anesthesia for a small surgery (so trippy to my adult self since age 5 was my one and only time being under), and held by those things that were not meant for me this year. Through all of it I tried to hold onto hope that even when it seems dire or when nothing makes sense, we are all held by each other and the fact that we are separate but intricately connected. And that ultimately, we are all held by the Great Mother herself.

2017 was far from perfect but I take great honor in not only living this life but also taking the time to acknowledge the journey, the path and the lessons.

It’s funny because I usually don’t waver when my words come to me but this year I am struggling. A few weeks back Clarity and Transformation came through so I wrote them down and then a day or so after that I wrote (Nourishment?) next to it. This morning I drew the butterfly card so I know Transformation is where it’s at but do I want a crystal clear path or do I want to feel cozy and supported along the way? I’ll have to sit with that but I think I know the answer. May your 2018 bring all that you hope for and more. It’s the year of the Dog which I recently learned is me…I always thought I belonged to the year of the boar but because I’m a January baby, I fit in the cycle before my birth year.

My best nine from Instagram @jesalyneatchel

My best nine from Instagram @wildishwisewomen

Ecstatic Energy

I woke up on Easter in a F U N K. I was sad to be away from family, I was frustrated with other things going on in my life and I couldn’t handle the icky feeling I had in my body. So I gathered myself and decided to do something about it. I told my sleeping husband I was going to go to Ecstatic Dance in Palo Alto. I had been meaning to go for awhile and I was certain it would help. I had to take some sort of action because if left in this state I would inevitably lash out at someone, mostly likely my husband. He doesn’t deserve that and frankly I didn’t deserve to feel the way I did either. And I tell my clients all the time to do something to move the energy in their body when they are feeling stuck or yuck.

As soon as I started moving my body I could feel a shift. My movements matched the music…at first slow and rhythmic…transitioning to faster and more irregular. The beauty of this format is that moving your body is key but you can do it any way you want. Very few rules and absence of judgement creates a lot of freedom. My breath became more at ease, my mind slowly unraveled the worries that plagued me. I couldn’t quite shake the sadness though.

I took a break on the perimeter of the dance floor and started to tear up and then started to cry. Wet, hot tears rolled down my cheeks and caught the attention of a fellow dancer. I had seen this woman come in. She entered the dance floor with confidence and had a striking presence about her. She walked towards me, made eye contact with me and then came behind me. She wrapped her arms around me, one arm on my belly and the other hand on my heart. She nuzzled herself in close to me and took long, slow, deep breaths peppered with big sighs and hmmms.

My mind had a lot of things to say about this encounter “this is weird, right?” “I don’t even know this ladies name” “what will other people think?” “what the hell is happening?” “should I tell her to stop?”

But ultimately my body won out. My body is what got me there that day and my body is what needed this healing. I could feel the energetic shift as a weight dissipated from my heart. My tears slowed and my whole body softened. I knew when our time together was done and so I met her gaze and thanked her with my eyes.

I felt more whole than when I arrived but I also felt so exposed and raw. It was a vulnerable moment for me and I wasn’t sure if I would tell anyone about it. I found myself keeping track of this mysterious goddess healer as she moved across the dance floor. Should I go to her again and offer more thanks or at least introduce myself.

Ultimately I decided that I got exactly what I came for whether I knew it or not. I left before it ended and did not see her again. I actually haven’t been back since. I had a nice time and would certainly join another dance in the future but it just hasn’t happened. My openness to the experience is what stuck with me. Had I stayed home I would have been a jerk to my husband and felt awful all day. But I said yes to a shift, said yes to myself and in the end received even more than I bargained for. May we all say yes to moving stuck energy through movement, connection and kindness.

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