Svadhisthana Sweetness & Body Paint Delight

When I was in high school I had a friend once say she wished she could have some of my bravery. I have always been pretty bold in saying what’s on my mind and doing things outside the box. Not brave in the jump out of a plane kind of way but in the tell your crush you like him to his face, travel to developing countries and take all your clothes off and let someone paint you kind of way.

Yeah, that last one…I just did that. The yoga studio where I teach is an incredible community of visionaries and our studio manager created a mash up of yoga, chakras and body paint. I knew very little about body paint and had certainly never had it done myself. So, clearly I jumped at the chance.

The night started with a yoga class taught by me focusing on the chakra of the month, the sacral chakra. It’s all about fluidity, creativity and emotions. Governed by the moon and water, it’s feminine in nature and relates to our sexuality.

Then we moved onto the painting part of the night. I had arrived prepared with my nude panties and nipple tape but my painter was no where to be seen. I started feeling pretty disappointed. Nathalie who organized this event and has been painted many times said “how about I paint you?”

And so she and other members of the community stepped up even though they had never done anything like this before. It was the sweetest team of enthusiastic and interested friends. The artists and models from the Human Art Collective were amazingly supportive and welcoming as well. I had so much fun!

It felt great to be doted upon and painted. I was struck by how normal it was to have someone painting my bum, under my breasts and inside my belly button. There was a meditative quality to it as well. One of the painters agreed it was for her also. She shared that she found herself syncing her painting with her own breath. It was its own kind of yoga.

Here I was practically naked in the studio where I usually teach yoga very much clothed. And yet I felt so comfortable in my body. It briefly occurred to me that my belly was much rounder and my breasts much fuller than the other models (who had all done this previously). Even though this thought crossed my mind, I really wasn’t doing a lot of thinking.

During the couple of hours that I was being painted and then photographed I felt very much in my body. It was such a pleasurable and memorable experience. One I will not soon forget. I loved being painted but I loved even more how it all came together.

And then just like that it was over. One minute I was feeling fully embodied and confident, the next I was sitting in my bathtub covered in coconut oil while my husband scrubbed the paint off my back. Such is life with all its ups and down. So perfectly imperfect.

Yoga class

Yoga class

Loving it!

Loving it!

Finished product

Finished product

Nathalie and I

Nathalie and I

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

Make New Friends but Keep The Old

I’m at the point in my life where I can say something happened 10, 15, or 20 years ago and I wasn’t still in diapers…or even grade school. My grandma used to tell me stories of things that happened 10+ years ago. When I was young, that seemed like such a long time ago but to her it was just a drop in the bucket.

Now, 1998, the year I started high school, is almost 20 years away. And I’m amazed and blessed to say that one of my childhood friends and I have known each other for 25 years. 25 years! 25 years of growing up together, laughing, crying, having fun, making memories and achieving life milestones. It’s our Silver Anniversary of Friendship. Yes, I’m making that a thing with an official title.

Emily and I were in the same class in third grade but it wasn’t until we both started going to the Boys and Girls Club after school that we really started hanging out. We quickly became best buds and spent most of our time together.

Over the years there have been ups and downs but thankfully we have stayed connected. We know each others stories, all about our families and always want the best for one another.

Friendships are an amazing part of life especially when they span the ages. I feel like you really have to learn to be a good friend. Some of the qualities of friendship are innate but it’s a part of life to grow into your role as a kind, thoughtful, be-there-when-it-counts friend.

I’ve made mistakes over the years with this relationship. Poor communication, petty arguments, not being there for important moments, saying the wrong thing and overall shitty immature behavior. But, those are the life lessons that we get during our time in Earth school. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to figure it out as I went and luckily at this point the good times far outweigh the not so good.

I feel so fortunate to have always had at least a few good female relationships throughout my life. My friendship with Emily has contributed to my current passion for bringing women together for support and connection. I talk to many women who have struggled to maintain relationships with other women stating “I’ve always connected more with guys.”

I believe women need each other. We are stronger together and I vow to continue to nurture my female relationships so that I can be living proof of this truth.

Emily now has a daughter and she recently took time away from her mama duties to come visit me and see my life in San Jose. I have some new friends here but nothing beats the comfort of an old friend. At the end of the day we all just want to be seen, accepted as we are and loved unconditionally. Thanks Emily for being my Silver Friend. Let’s go for Gold!

5th Grade

5th Grade

6th Grade

6th Grade

8th Grade

8th Grade

High School Trip to Europe

High School Trip to Europe

Early College Days

Early College Days

Costa Rica 2005

Costa Rica 2005

"Will you be my Maid of Honor?"

“Will you be my Maid of Honor?”

Wedding

Wedding 2008

My 30th

My 30th

Present Day

Present Day

What’s with All the Goddess Talk?

I recently had a friend tell me they would like to accept the invitation to be on my podcast but that they felt removed from the Goddess thing, and so maybe it wasn’t a good fit. I lead Goddess Circles, the podcast title includes the word Goddesses and I regularly refer to women in general as Goddesses. So, what is with all the Goddess talk?

I think each person who identifies as a woman is also a Goddess. And not just when she is looking beautiful and acting feminine by traditional standards. The energy of the Divine Feminine, also known as Shakti in the yoga tradition, not only represents us as women but also represents the universal energy all around us. Shakti is what drives us to be passionate and loving beings on this Earth. Shakti is creativity and expression. Shakti is wild and free. It is in us and we are a part of it. This balanced with the masculine energy of Shiva makes us whole and complete.

The Goddesses of Yoga, as in most other traditions, includes women who turn heads with their beauty but also those who are fierce warriors, devoted servants, nurturing mothers and wise crones. They represent different aspects of ourselves and our life stages.

Living as a Goddess means that you believe each and everything you do is connected back to the Divine. It’s not to say that you are only being Goddess-like when you are dressed in your favorite outfit or have your hair done nicely. You are a Goddess as soon as you roll out of bed and even if you look a mess or feel like you don’t have your life together. There is no separation from the mundane and the Sacred. Everything is Sacred. Each one of us is Sacred.

By leading women’s circles and sharing the podcast my hope is that women will connect into the energy of their inner Goddess so that they feel beautiful, worthy, loved and valuable. The more each of us becomes an expression of the Divine Feminine allowing our inner Goddess to shine, the more others will feel permission to do the same. And the more the men in our lives will also show up as their Divine Masculine self.

Please remember that you are a Goddess in each and every aspect, stage, phase, and moment of your life. When you walk, talk, move, dance, sing, cook, make love, cry, scream, yell, curse. It’s all you, it’s all beautiful, it’s all you as Goddess.

Om Aim Hrim Klim Chamundayai Vichaye Svaha – I learned this mantra with Sally Kempton and Shiva Rea. It invokes the mother Goddess and asks for her presence and inspiration as well as for her to remove any obstacles in your way. Mantra is often known as the “body of the Goddess.” Chant this for power and connection to your inner Goddess.

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You Are Enough: On Body Image and Self-worth

Gallery

This gallery contains 6 photos.

I was thin from the time I was a child into early adulthood. My mom worried about me when I was young because as a picky eater I ate very little. It seemed as if I might whither away if … Continue reading

Power and Balance

Power and Balance were the words I chose for my 2014. The process of choosing them is pretty simple; before the year starts I take the first thing that comes to mind provided that the words feel good to me. I have no idea how they will play out but I just trust that they are perfect.

Power

I have to admit, this word surprised me a little when it showed up. Power sounded harsh but I realized it’s because we have been conditioned to see power and the abuse of power as inextricably related. I know that we all are powerful beings who sometimes forget this universal truth and shrink when it comes to using our power in a positive way.  I wanted to feel powerful in a way that affirmed my skills, my confidence and my personal empowerment. Power showed up for me in several ways this year. I felt powerful as a teacher. I taught a weekly yoga class and I taught several reiki classes. In both I felt the power of sharing information and being open to learning more with every step of my teaching. I felt the power of knowledge in several classes that I took on yoga, reiki, meditation, therapeutic techniques and language. There is power in possibility and I came up with many directions I can take my business and my offerings to the world.  The power of sisterhood continues to floor me and I am grateful for all the wonderful connections I continue to nurture. I got engaged this year and felt immense power in the love I share with my fiance and also in embracing my divine feminine nature. Previously I felt that I had to show my power by being independent and not needing anyone else. I have since learned that there is power in partnership. Being open to a role that you are hardwired to play and that compliments another person is an awesome display of power.

Balance

Finding balance is something that we are all seeking (right?!) and a word that we therapists throw around like a Sunday football. Work/life balance, balanced diet, balance in yoga practice, balancing time alone and time spent with others. I could go on and on about our use of this word but guess what?  I call bullshit! My apologies to clients who have heard me talk about this and believed me. Don’t get me wrong, I still think it has a use and is important in our seeking peace and calm in life but sometimes things are just messier than that. Sometimes balance in the traditional sense just isn’t possible. My year was all over the place when it comes to balance. I was stuck in a job that was sucking me dry, begging for a way out. Now I’ve quit my job, moved to a new place and the scale has completely tipped. The only thing I have to worry about now is what yoga class to go to and what I am making for dinner. No more grouchy nights and self-loathing mornings. This feels much better of course but I also know things will shift. I will start working again and it won’t be as effortless to get to my meditation cushion each morning. So yes, balance is important but I’d like to redefine it as an always moving, work in progress that we never quite master. And, I’m totally ok with that!

My words for 2015 have been mulled over a bit and what sticks are Faith and Flow. I can’t wait to see what the year ahead brings. May 2015 bless you all with whatever your soul calls for.

 

Yes to love!

Yes to love!

Reiki Sisters

Reiki Sisters

Small kitty in a big new place

Small kitty in a big new place

Angel Cards and Ancestral Blessings

Last week I drove up to Pasadena for the Hay House “I Can Do It” conference and took an all day course in becoming a certified angel card reader. The course was led by Doreen Virtue who is the author of many books on working with the angels and a dozen or more decks of angel cards. If you are not familiar with her work and have any interest, she is definitely worth looking into. I started working with her cards around the time I started doing energy work. Her deck “Healing with the Angels” was available in my first Healing Touch class. We were invited to pick a card on our break and read the meaning in the enclosed book. I now use them in sessions with clients and on an almost daily basis for myself. I was, to say the least, very excited about the workshop. For the record, anyone can use the angel cards without the training, she just gave us tips to take our readings further.

The workshop was great, Doreen was amazing and inspiring and I met some very nice people. I couldn’t help but have one of those “how did I end up here moments?” though. I often find myself feeling supremely blessed but also a bit puzzled about my spiritual path. Sometimes it seems out of left field that I ended up being an energy healing, yogini, kirtan singer who reads angel cards. In my heart I know that all is perfect and that this is my path but still “how did I end up here?!” A memory was sparked for me and I thought back to the readings my grandma would give me when I was little. She would use a deck of playing cards and I am pretty sure used the Celtic Cross layout we learned in this training. She would tell me things based on the color and the number of the card or if it was a face card. I called her to ask about this and to let her know that she has (as I am realizing) inspired my path in many ways. She shared that her grandma read fortunes and that is where she learned it.

My great-great grandmother came to Idaho from Copenhagen, Denmark. We are not quite sure why or how she got here but in Idaho is where she met my great-great grandfather. Here I have shared the picture of the only belonging of hers that we know of. A book which she has so lovingly and proudly written her name in many times. Josephine Brikamine Petersen although my grandma tells me she called herself “Josephina Brigamina.” So, perhaps my path is not out of left field after all.  Of course, I already knew that but I love discovering this connection with my past. I plan to call in her guidance in my readings even though I’m sure she has always been there. My awareness continues to increase though and as Doreen says the cardinal rule of working with the angels is you have to ask them for their help. you can do itangel card certphoto (15)

Ceremonial Magic!

Moon

photo by marema/Shutterstock.com

I started following the cycles of the moon just within the last year or so. Of course, I always knew the moon was up there and would occasionally wonder if it was full based on my feelings or the level of stress and chaos at work. But, I wasn’t really paying attention until recently. What a beautiful thing to be tuned into! Now I can’t imagine not knowing when the moon is new and when it is full.  During this time of awakening and increased awareness I have been a part of many ceremonies surrounding the moon, other changes in nature, and as a result of other spiritual practices (yoga, energy work, chanting).  I will soon get to have the great pleasure of attending my first blessing way to honor a friend having a baby.

I have hosted new moon, full moon and solstice events and am also involved in an ongoing new moon women’s circle. I really love having this in my life and recently realized that this now seems totally normal to me.  I hosted a bonfire for the recent supermoon and we ended up sharing a fire pit with some young girls and one of their boyfriends. I brought some pieces of paper for a releasing ceremony and some flowers to send out into the ocean as a wish. I led all of my friends through this but also invited our new friends to join in. The girls were so cute and really got into it. They commented how spiritual and powerful it felt for them and wondered how I had ever thought of something like this. At that moment I realized what a gift it has been for me to learn more about setting intention, creating ceremonies and being more in touch with the magical qualities of nature. I felt blessed that I could share it with these young girls who no doubt will remember it in the future.

I did not grow up doing things like this and realize that perhaps not many others did either. Aside from church, which I did not grow up going to either, we live in a society where formal ceremonies tend to happen at birth and death with just a few moments in between; weddings, graduations, birthdays. I know there are some exceptions and personally know a few people who grew up honoring life and mother nature regularly, but as a rule we are fairly disconnected. And frankly, those who were more tuned in may not have talked about it for fear of seeming weird.  I now see there is room for ceremony in almost everything and hope that perceptions of this are changing. I have a ritual that I do before and after working with clients, when I wake up, when I am asking for something and when something bad happens to someone I know or to the world. Some of these things are simple and subtle, others are more more complex and involved. And others are just downright playful, like howling at the moon with my sisters; a personal favorite! I try to do all of them with love, reverence and gratitude. I can’t say that I have never been called a weirdo, hippy or even a witch because of it but I don’t mind.

Zsuzsana Budapest, who identifies herself as a feminist witch, offers this definition of a witch:

“A witch is a woman or a man who considers the Earth a living, breathing, conscious being – part of the family of the vast universe – to be regarded and respected as God herself. To be a witch, you have to see yourself as part of God, who is present in, not separate from, us and all living beings” (p57, The Grandmother of Time).

I don’t know about you but this does not at all sound like the witches that most people picture. This definition is beautiful to me and definitely falls in line with beliefs that I have come to understand.  I happily embrace magical ceremonies into my life and look forward to learning more and sharing with others. What ceremonies did you grow up with and how can you bring more magic and nature into your life?