Svadhisthana Sweetness & Body Paint Delight

When I was in high school I had a friend once say she wished she could have some of my bravery. I have always been pretty bold in saying what’s on my mind and doing things outside the box. Not brave in the jump out of a plane kind of way but in the tell your crush you like him to his face, travel to developing countries and take all your clothes off and let someone paint you kind of way.

Yeah, that last one…I just did that. The yoga studio where I teach is an incredible community of visionaries and our studio manager created a mash up of yoga, chakras and body paint. I knew very little about body paint and had certainly never had it done myself. So, clearly I jumped at the chance.

The night started with a yoga class taught by me focusing on the chakra of the month, the sacral chakra. It’s all about fluidity, creativity and emotions. Governed by the moon and water, it’s feminine in nature and relates to our sexuality.

Then we moved onto the painting part of the night. I had arrived prepared with my nude panties and nipple tape but my painter was no where to be seen. I started feeling pretty disappointed. Nathalie who organized this event and has been painted many times said “how about I paint you?”

And so she and other members of the community stepped up even though they had never done anything like this before. It was the sweetest team of enthusiastic and interested friends. The artists and models from the Human Art Collective were amazingly supportive and welcoming as well. I had so much fun!

It felt great to be doted upon and painted. I was struck by how normal it was to have someone painting my bum, under my breasts and inside my belly button. There was a meditative quality to it as well. One of the painters agreed it was for her also. She shared that she found herself syncing her painting with her own breath. It was its own kind of yoga.

Here I was practically naked in the studio where I usually teach yoga very much clothed. And yet I felt so comfortable in my body. It briefly occurred to me that my belly was much rounder and my breasts much fuller than the other models (who had all done this previously). Even though this thought crossed my mind, I really wasn’t doing a lot of thinking.

During the couple of hours that I was being painted and then photographed I felt very much in my body. It was such a pleasurable and memorable experience. One I will not soon forget. I loved being painted but I loved even more how it all came together.

And then just like that it was over. One minute I was feeling fully embodied and confident, the next I was sitting in my bathtub covered in coconut oil while my husband scrubbed the paint off my back. Such is life with all its ups and down. So perfectly imperfect.

Yoga class

Yoga class

Loving it!

Loving it!

Finished product

Finished product

Nathalie and I

Nathalie and I

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

Photo by Ronald Nelson Photography

What’s with All the Goddess Talk?

I recently had a friend tell me they would like to accept the invitation to be on my podcast but that they felt removed from the Goddess thing, and so maybe it wasn’t a good fit. I lead Goddess Circles, the podcast title includes the word Goddesses and I regularly refer to women in general as Goddesses. So, what is with all the Goddess talk?

I think each person who identifies as a woman is also a Goddess. And not just when she is looking beautiful and acting feminine by traditional standards. The energy of the Divine Feminine, also known as Shakti in the yoga tradition, not only represents us as women but also represents the universal energy all around us. Shakti is what drives us to be passionate and loving beings on this Earth. Shakti is creativity and expression. Shakti is wild and free. It is in us and we are a part of it. This balanced with the masculine energy of Shiva makes us whole and complete.

The Goddesses of Yoga, as in most other traditions, includes women who turn heads with their beauty but also those who are fierce warriors, devoted servants, nurturing mothers and wise crones. They represent different aspects of ourselves and our life stages.

Living as a Goddess means that you believe each and everything you do is connected back to the Divine. It’s not to say that you are only being Goddess-like when you are dressed in your favorite outfit or have your hair done nicely. You are a Goddess as soon as you roll out of bed and even if you look a mess or feel like you don’t have your life together. There is no separation from the mundane and the Sacred. Everything is Sacred. Each one of us is Sacred.

By leading women’s circles and sharing the podcast my hope is that women will connect into the energy of their inner Goddess so that they feel beautiful, worthy, loved and valuable. The more each of us becomes an expression of the Divine Feminine allowing our inner Goddess to shine, the more others will feel permission to do the same. And the more the men in our lives will also show up as their Divine Masculine self.

Please remember that you are a Goddess in each and every aspect, stage, phase, and moment of your life. When you walk, talk, move, dance, sing, cook, make love, cry, scream, yell, curse. It’s all you, it’s all beautiful, it’s all you as Goddess.

Om Aim Hrim Klim Chamundayai Vichaye Svaha – I learned this mantra with Sally Kempton and Shiva Rea. It invokes the mother Goddess and asks for her presence and inspiration as well as for her to remove any obstacles in your way. Mantra is often known as the “body of the Goddess.” Chant this for power and connection to your inner Goddess.

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Love Like the Banks of the River

My commitment to myself and this site is one post per month so I already had a blog topic planned out. As much as I like being a free spirit, I also dig a good plan and find it comes in handy in many ways. But, because life is funny like that and I can be flexible, something else caught my attention.

My husband made a comment the other night that his path in life is clear, now I just need to find mine. At first my feelings were hurt…”What, I don’t have a clear path?!” But the more I thought about it the more I realized I only know vaguely what I want to do: help others. But it constantly changes and evolves each time I get inspired or learn something new. I thought I was destined to be a therapist starting as young as my peer helper days and into my clear delineation in the field of Psychology and Social Work. But that hasn’t brought me the joy and fulfillment that I desire and so I find myself searching for how to make a difference, keep my sanity and love my work.

Blake believes his purpose in life is to love me. Plain and simple. No strings attached. Just love me for me. Wow, right?! In fact, he says he felt this very strongly from the beginning of our relationship even before he knew for sure it was love. He didn’t tell me until we were more established as a couple and when a few of my trust issue barriers had been broken down a bit. Even then it was a lot for me to absorb. I know not everyone finds a partner like this although I know a few others who feel an intense amount of devotion from their partner. As absolutely lovely as it is sometimes it can be scary as well. And to some it sounds crazy. I recently shared this with a friend and their response was “Isn’t that a little obsessive?” Ha! Why, yes, yes it is! But not in a creepy stalker way, in a this love is so big I can’t contain it way. And yet that’s exactly what his love does: contain me. It literally creates a container for me to figure out how I want to serve.

Like the banks of a river creating shape, preventing an all out flood, my lovers intense love for me lets me be the river. I may tumble some rocks along the way, float leaves and twigs to a new destination and nourish the plants and animals who live nearby.  But, above all I get to flow freely.

Let me be clear, my husband’s devotion to me does not mean he has no interests of his own or that he follows me around like a lap dog. He is perfectly capable of moving through the world and taking care of his own shit. But like many of us who seek to find a purpose in life, it just makes things easier.

And also just because my purpose and path is not necessarily only about loving him does not mean that I am not also a devoted, loving wife. It is my honor to be married to him and we all win when there is enough love to go around for all. I may never get crystal clear on what my specific path is either. I know giving back and making the world a nicer place is on my list of to-dos in this life but that may show up in hundreds of ever-changing ways and I’m ok with that. I know the banks of the river will hold me as long as they are needed and that is one of the greatest blessings I can imagine.

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