Category Archives: Happiness is a Choice

Teaching my Lessons

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The goal and mission of my business is to help people live their best life. To me this means living according to what you are passionate about and what brings you joy. This can come in the form of releasing past hurts or negative patterns, being assertive and speaking your truth, following your bliss, setting boundaries, and taking healthy risks. I find that often people need to be reminded that they absolutely deserve to live a good life and many times our work together is embracing this concept and allowing joy to flow.

It is very important to me to be authentic in my work and not to pretend that I have it all figured out. I tell clients that many of the lessons I share are ongoing ones for myself as well. Learning to see ourselves as perfectly imperfect is a concept I work with a lot for myself and for clients.

Let me be super clear and vulnerable here…I do not always feel that I am in alignment with my passion and joy and sometimes that sends me into a tailspin. The perfect example of this is my day job. I have worked for a psychiatric hospital for more than 3 1/2 years. It is a good job and I get to serve a population that really needs support. I cut back my hours as I built my business and have been part-time for about a year and a half. I know I do not want to be there forever (it’s a big organization with all the politics that come with that) and honestly thought I would have been able to quit by now. And, some days it is painful to be there. I have cried many times in my bosses office and in the arms of my supportive boyfriend about this. My boss is actually hugely supportive as well and will support me in whatever I do and I am so grateful for that.

My downward spiral goes something like this: I hate my job and being here lowers my mood and my vibration, it makes me mean and bitter and no one wants to be around someone who is mean and bitter. How am I supposed to help people live a joyful life if I can’t even leave a job I can’t stand? I’m a fake and a fraud and who would want to come see me to work on themselves? I should just quit and everything will work itself out… yes, I will quit… I’ll quit by such and such date. But I can’t do that, I won’t have enough money to live. I suck, life sucks!!!

As most of us know, that all happens in the span of a few seconds, but if I can take a breath, remember something I am grateful for, and put on my big girl panties I can see the bigger picture. I have come a long way and continue to actively expand my business which I love all of the time (for the record, I don’t hate my day job all of the time). I have already taken big risks and have been getting creative about where I am headed.  My ultimate goal is for my business to pay my bills (and then some!) and to be able to quit my day job. When I am fully in the bigger picture I know this is possible and I trust with all my heart that this is in my future. I trust myself and the universe and that all of this is part of my journey. I also know plenty of ways to raise my vibration and focus on joy so that I don’t stay caught in my downward shit storm spiral…some days I’m better at this than others.

And, the biggest reminder of all is… I DO NOT have to have it all figured out to help people! In fact, being in the position that I am now makes me more equipped to support people as they find the joyful life they deserve. My clients and I are often in the same boat and so I know exactly how they feel. I am teaching my own lessons and keeping it real along the way.

 

El Colibrí de Alegría

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There are 132 different types of hummingbirds in Ecuador. Since I have been back from my month long trip there I have seen one or two everyday. On my first day back to my day job I was looking longingly out the window during our morning meeting, honestly wishing I wasn’t there, when I saw a sweet little hummingbird outside. It made me smile and remember my great trip and all the joy and freedom I felt while I was gone. But, being back didn’t yet feel joyful and free. I have a great life with a lot to be thankful and joyful for but I was still focusing on the desire to be back on my trip. Anytime we are gone experiencing a new and different culture, coming back is an adjustment. In reality, we come back to a new version of our world seen through the eyes of all of our new experiences. The hummingbird was there to remind me to be joyful in this moment, to be present. These little birds now find me while I am out walking, leaving my place for the day or in moments where I need this reminder.

Hummingbirds represent joy, specifically finding the joy in what we do each moment. Their flying abilities are not rivaled in any other species of birds, they are fast, agile and daring. They remind us to grab joy while we can, as quickly as we can, and that if we are truly enjoying what we do we become light enough to fly.

Image by: Ama White Owl http://amawhiteowl.wordpress.com/

Image by: Ama White Owl http://amawhiteowl.wordpress.com/

The School of Life is Now in Session

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I believe that we are all students in the school of life and we were placed here on Earth in this body to learn certain lessons. The good and the bad of it is that if you do not learn the lesson the first, fifth, or hundredth time, you have to take the class again. I also believe certain lessons continue to show up when they are very important or perhaps when you just need a refresher course. I am traveling in Ecuador and studying Spanish for a month and the lessons are abundant.

There are no coincidences: This one has come up for me a lot lately and I am grateful every time because I often need reminders. All things happen in perfect timing. The first person I met when I got off the plane told me he has been studying Reiki. I am a Reiki master/teacher and this felt like the coolest wink and hug from the universe. The woman where I am staying is just amazing and was the perfect person to come into my life. She embodies all that I have been studying over the past few years. We have talked about things like enjoying the moment by staying in the present, trusting that everything will work out and enjoying the flow of life. Every time we talk, she is telling me something that I have been working on and that has come to be a part of my everyday life. It’s like a review of all my life classes over the last few years.

Water is healing: This is a reccurring theme in my life as well. Just before I left I was going to a weekly yoga class by the water and it was amazing. Here in Cuenca, there are 4 rivers that run through the city. One of them is near my school and I walk by it everyday. There is simply something that is so peaceful about the water; it always brings a smile to my face. To me it represents the flow of life and that the only certainty we have, is change.

Enjoy each moment: Mindfulness is something that I try to work on in my everyday life but I think is especially important when you are experiencing a new culture. There are extraordinary things even in the ordinary moments of life and travel. My host mom exemplified this perfectly on the first day when she was walking me to school. We were walking and talking and she stopped in her tracks to admire a flower in bloom. She said something to the effect of “how beautiful! That wasn’t there before” and it was such a nice reminder to take the time to notice things in life.

It’s not always necessary to eat the minute you feel hungry: Here in Ecuador the biggest meal is lunch. I have traveled other places where that is the case and I really enjoy it. I found when I first arrived that I was feeling pretty hungry by the time lunch arrived (served in the home where I am staying about 1 or 1:30) But, I really enjoyed each bite by the time I ate lunch. I realized that at home I am often rushing to eat as soon as I feel hungry or often times even before I am actually hungry. I don’t think there is anything wrong with feeling hungry for a little bit, it means you are alive and your stomach is working as it should. And, as I have experienced it makes the food that you do eat so much better instead of mindlessly eating something just because you think you need to.

Your personal bubble is not as necessary as you think: I have noticed in Latin America there is much less emphasis on maintaining your personal space. People here kiss on the cheek to say hello to friends and people they have just met (I LOVE this) and you will often find someone will sit right next to you when there are other seats nearby. People tend to stand closer than you might be used to as well. At first it can be a bit strange when people from the US will think twice about sitting next to a stranger on a bench and guys try their hardest to keep a seat in between each other at the movie theater. But, ultimately you end up sharing more experiences this way. Our perception of a personal bubble is keeping us from connecting with others.

Travel the way the locals do: This one is important to me when I go somewhere new. I think you learn a lot about the people and the culture when you take their public transportation. It is not always as comfortable or as easy as getting a guide or going the tourist route but it is worth the experience.

Let go of your plans: I love making plans way ahead of time. I love putting things on my calendar and waiting with excitement and anticipation. I am a planner in my real life but when you are traveling many times you have to abandon your plans. It is totally fine to make plans but be prepared for the great possibility that they won’t always work out. Sometimes the greatest adventures happen when your plans don’t work out.

Health and wellness is a growing trend everywhere: The city where I am staying places great emphasis on exercise and heath. They have created parks with workout equipment and dedicated trails for runners, walkers and bikers. These parks also hold classes that are free or very affordable for the people of the city. Just like in the US, Ecuador has been having a problem with people who are not active enough and their health is affected as a result. Being that I am in the health and wellness business it is really refreshing to see such emphasis on this. It is entertaining and heart warming to hear the music of the exercise classes early in the morning and to see folks getting together later at night to run, jog, dance, walk or bike. I was also able to find a yoga class led by a couple who moved here from the US.

Stay open to the life lessons that are coming your way. Do you continue to be enrolled in the same class but never do the homework or pass the test? For me traveling continues to open my mind and provide me with amazing life lessons. Where do you get your best lessons?

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How are you always so happy?

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happiness-is-a-way-of-travel-not-a-destinationMy client ended our session with this question last week. I gave them an answer but now that I’ve had more time to think I would add some things. My initial response was that I am not happy all the time. I think times when you feel down can and should be honored. Sadness, anger, irritability have their place and time in life and can be good teachers. The rest of my three-fold answer went something like this:

I practice what I preach, for the most part. When I make suggestions to clients to try certain things to make life more enjoyable it is because I have tried them or do them on a regular basis myself. I am happy because grouchy therapists, although they exist, are not very desirable. When I am working it is part of my job to be encouraging and I gladly take on that role. And, I have a lot to be thankful for in life and focusing on that is an instant mood lifter.

The part I didn’t get to mention, mostly because I was caught off guard, is that when I am working with clients I am doing what I love! Encouraging people to make positive changes in their life and actually seeing the changes happen is an amazing process that I am blessed to be a part of. This was my last client of a long day but I was still feeling great because doing this work makes me happy! While I think happiness can exist wherever you choose it in your life, it sure helps when you are doing something that brings you joy.

I fully believe that happiness is a choice that most of us can make on a regular basis if we learn to get in that habit. We can easily lose sight of happy though and move into angry, bitter, resentful, negative, sad, etc. We start to think that is our new normal and that’s where things can get tricky. The further away we get from happy the harder it can be to find our way back. I think our true nature is happy and that it is available to us all. Even those suffering from very real clinical depression can make choices that will support a better mood. I’m not saying it is easy but it is possible. Start today by infusing your day with things that you know bring you joy. Make time for those things more and more and watch your mood increase. If you don’t know what brings you joy start my trying different things. Read a good book, dance in your living room, spend time outside, play with kids or animals (notice how happy they always are!), try a new hobby, laugh for no reason, create something. The sky is the limit but remember your power and that you have control of your life!