How many times in life do we sit back and wish that something were different but take no action? I’ve been guilty of it many times before. Most recently I found myself watching friends get published in online journals and feeling a pang of envy. I would be happy for them but wish it were happening to me too. And yet I had not submitted anything. I was approached in 2014 to write for an online anxiety website and an article of mine had been published. It was a neat experience but I did not pursue it much further mostly because I got busy with my move up north but also because I asked myself “what would I write about that would add value to the world?”
But each time I would hear that someone had been published I just couldn’t shake that yearning. I still couldn’t imagine what I would contribute but I also started to realize that if I didn’t submit anything at all I would never find out. One morning with the creativity Gods on my side, I awoke early with a great idea. I wrote it out, submitted it, was asked to do some edits and was on my way to being published.
So I made into the club that I had been lusting after. It was fun, a little scary and ultimately not what I had made it out to be in my head. See some of the story I was telling myself was about why I wasn’t qualified to get something published. Who am I to share wisdom outside of my little tiny blog? Who would read it and would they even care? As you might already know, the stories we tell ourselves are powerful. Even when they are not based in any reality we have a funny way of accepting them as the absolute truth.
The real truth is we all have something to add to this world. Every single one of us! It may not come in the form of being published but that was the call that was pulling me and ultimately I had to squash the voice that told me I had nothing to offer. For me, that voice is a mix of fear, doubt and not feeling good enough but it’s only as powerful as we let it be. As Krishna Das says “Don’t believe everything you think.”
I’ve been working on another creative project in the form of a podcast and I think that experience not only inspired me to explore other mediums of creating but also to show up no matter what. I have never put together a podcast. I didn’t know the first thing about it. But I knew that I wanted desperately to connect with these amazing women I have the pleasure of knowing and I thought somebody else might want to listen in on our conversations. So I went for it and nothing about it has been perfect but it has been the perfect experience for me right now.
And as it goes, this all happened in perfect timing. That twinge of desire is what drove me to create and wouldn’t you know it, once I got the ball rolling I had not one but two articles published within a week of each other. I know that voice that held me back will creep in again throughout my life. Maybe in this same area or maybe in another, but I hope I continue to choose to show up anyway. Brene Brown talks about showing up and being seen in her work but specifically in her book Daring Greatly. There will always be critics and often they are ourselves. But if we don’t show up and go for it we will by default avoid failure but we will also miss out on achievement. I know which world lights me up and keeps me inspired.
Here are the articles in case you’d like to have a read: